i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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