There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize