All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
