So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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