OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
