She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
