I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
