He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
