And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
