if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
