I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
why is half of my head shaved?
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