the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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