am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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