he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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