Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
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