no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
