ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more