I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me