just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.