Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.

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  (714): I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public. http://tfl.nu/k8h3
  Replies (8) Good night (681) Bad night (2107)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating

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  (856): unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating http://tfl.nu/8w72
  Replies (36) Good night (1575) Bad night (3738)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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  (503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/hko9
  Replies (24) Good night (986) Bad night (5651)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.

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  (203): Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin? (1-203): I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight. http://tfl.nu/pi9j
  Replies (19) Good night (1635) Bad night (6352)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.

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  (803): I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene. http://tfl.nu/fj0l
  Replies (38) Good night (6379) Bad night (2049)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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  (717): i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego. http://tfl.nu/vgwh
  Replies (20) Good night (4723) Bad night (1294)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

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  (918): Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub http://tfl.nu/8dtz
  Replies (8) Good night (2086) Bad night (1118)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.

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  (519): He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire. http://tfl.nu/chwr
  Replies (11) Good night (895) Bad night (1198)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!

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  (219): If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?! http://tfl.nu/j506
  Replies (9) Good night (781) Bad night (2056)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  hey the jello shots wont freeze

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  How much Everclear did you put in them?

  (512): View more from Texas

  uhhh all of it

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  (512): hey the jello shots wont freeze (1-512): How much Everclear did you put in them? (512): uhhh all of it http://tfl.nu/x77r
  Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (417)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.

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  (757): you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR. http://tfl.nu/zp8x
  Replies (8) Good night (1837) Bad night (485)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.

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  (519): I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption. http://tfl.nu/y4ti
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (395)
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  (209): View more from California

  I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

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  (209): I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore http://tfl.nu/6h5d
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (421)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.

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  (412): I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn. http://tfl.nu/rnnm
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (308)
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  (909): View more from California

  Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.

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  (909): Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring. http://tfl.nu/ocwc
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (342)

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