Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself

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(248): At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself http://tfl.nu/n1ex

Replies (1) Good night (1316) Bad night (647)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.

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(612): I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda. http://tfl.nu/fjuw

Replies (111) Good night (6702) Bad night (2449)
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(256): View more from Alabama

i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

dude how high are you right now?

(256): View more from Alabama

do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

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(256): i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground. (1-256): dude how high are you right now? (256): do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves. http://tfl.nu/7ihc

Replies (41) Good night (11772) Bad night (1296)
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(208): View more from Idaho

i robbed the continental breakfast last night

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(208): i robbed the continental breakfast last night http://tfl.nu/xq3y

Replies (8) Good night (2783) Bad night (754)
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(940): View more from Texas

Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.

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(940): Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car. http://tfl.nu/1zvq

Replies (8) Good night (805) Bad night (2459)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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(901): There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rmal

Replies (2) Good night (3075) Bad night (989)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.

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(519): I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it. http://tfl.nu/dyf5

Replies (8) Good night (2918) Bad night (929)
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(214): View more from Texas

Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.

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(214): Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman. http://tfl.nu/itkd

Replies (15) Good night (938) Bad night (3204)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!

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(724): I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw! http://tfl.nu/e9vz

Replies (14) Good night (3346) Bad night (700)
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(503): View more from Oregon

She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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(503): She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze. http://tfl.nu/rdoy

Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (1171)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

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(630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode. http://tfl.nu/h8l8

Replies (11) Good night (3012) Bad night (672)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.

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(609): Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him. http://tfl.nu/iwv9

Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (366)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet

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(321): He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet http://tfl.nu/nzlh

Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (493)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car

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(563): Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/64c7

Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (250)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.

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(504): I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina. http://tfl.nu/2cbm

Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (213)

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