doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
