i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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