i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
