I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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