I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
