There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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