Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
