Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
