you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
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I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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