Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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