it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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