Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
