people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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