I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
