Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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