He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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