Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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