I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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