around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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