i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
