Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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