Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize