Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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