$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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