either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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