There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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