Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
