U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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