Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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