It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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