rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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