Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
