is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
