i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
