You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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