I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
