it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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