it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
