i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
