i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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