i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
