I've blown a few things in my day
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
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he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
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I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"