hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
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You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
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You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night