A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind