lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated