I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
